Thursday, 6 October 2011
The want...
I want to be better. I want to be a better person. I want to be intellegent.I want to be attractive. I want to be humourous. I want to be wanted. I want to be relaxed. I want to be adventurous. I want to be kind. I want to be Fun. I want to be an optimist, I want to be chilled. I want to worry less. I want to find and be me.
Friday, 8 July 2011
westlife-i'll see you again
Always you will be part of me
And I will forever feel your
strength
When I need it most
You’re gone now, gone but not
forgotten
I can’t say this to your face
But I know you hear
Chorus:
I’ll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside me
I know I’ll see you again
When I’m lost, when I’m missing
you like crazy
I tell myself I’m so blessed
To have had you in my life, my life
Chorus
When I had the time to tell you
Never thought I’d live to see the
day
When the words I should have
said
Would come to haunt me
In my darkest hour I tell myself
I’ll see you again
Chorus x 2
I will see you again
I’ll see you again
I miss you like crazy
You’re gone but not forgotten
I’ll never forget you
Someday I’ll see you again
I feel you walk beside me
Never leave you, yeah
Gone but not forgotten
I feel you by my side
No this is not goodbye x 3
And I will forever feel your
strength
When I need it most
You’re gone now, gone but not
forgotten
I can’t say this to your face
But I know you hear
Chorus:
I’ll see you again
You never really left
I feel you walk beside me
I know I’ll see you again
When I’m lost, when I’m missing
you like crazy
I tell myself I’m so blessed
To have had you in my life, my life
Chorus
When I had the time to tell you
Never thought I’d live to see the
day
When the words I should have
said
Would come to haunt me
In my darkest hour I tell myself
I’ll see you again
Chorus x 2
I will see you again
I’ll see you again
I miss you like crazy
You’re gone but not forgotten
I’ll never forget you
Someday I’ll see you again
I feel you walk beside me
Never leave you, yeah
Gone but not forgotten
I feel you by my side
No this is not goodbye x 3
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Nanny
Nanny,
What can I say, I miss you so much already, we all do.
I miss the cheery sound in your voice when you said 'only me' when you rang up for a chat.
I miss you telling the dog off in your 'pleading do something tone' which apparently was your ''you've been very naughty voice'. He didn't believe it, and neither did we.
I miss you nodding off in the corner of the room, and waking up to tell us you were listening with your eyes closed. You forgot that we could hear the snores that were coming from you.
I miss you reminiscing about the past, about your favourite stories of us, my eating of the glass which my drink you gave me was in, Steve's cheating at Frustration because he didn't realise you knew the rules to Ludo and Chris's bacon sandwich addiction to name just a few.
I miss asking about your trips out and what you ate, the answer always being fish and chips.
I miss you being at the end of the phone when I ring just because.
I miss you nagging us, fussing us, telling us all off for telling you to stop. We only nagged because we loved you, wanted you to sit down. I know you only did the same because you loved us.
Thank you for the trips to Peter Pan's playground, and the pleasure we witnessed when we got off our ride. It didn't matter to you if we went on the ghost train eight times in a row as long as we were enjoying ourselves. I'm glad we did the ferris wheel with you each year, because we got to see you so happy as we looked out over the Southend Pier and sea.
Thank you for the bacon sandwiches and the memories that come with them. It is something that Chris, Steve and myself will never forget. They truly were world class, we told all our friends that our Nanny made the best.
Thank you for the weekly phone calls, and the run down on the week, the stories of bingo and the winnings of £2.50. I know that Club will miss you like we do, but at least someone else might win this week.
Thank you for the trips along the river, getting stuck on the boat, and telling me off for saying I was going to leave you there until the tide rose again. It was lovely that you giggled about it afterwards, having realised how silly you had been.
Thank you for playing along with our jokes and humour, our little nanny that was amazed each time one of us grew taller than you. I won't forget the look on your face at Dad's 50th when you realised that once inside the Hummer, it was the perfect size for you. The rest of us had to bottom shuffle, whereas you could walk up and down with no problem.
Thank you for the concern you had for us. I will continue to challenge myself and see the world, i know you liked hearing that I was doing something and pushing my boundaries.
Thank you for the belief you had in me, and the stubbornness you passed on to me. You constantly reminded me that I could do anything that I set my mind too and that you would tell everyone that if I started something I would finish it. In my own time.
Most of all, Thank you for the memories and stories, that we can talk and share.
Thank you for being our Nanny.
What can I say, I miss you so much already, we all do.
I miss the cheery sound in your voice when you said 'only me' when you rang up for a chat.
I miss you telling the dog off in your 'pleading do something tone' which apparently was your ''you've been very naughty voice'. He didn't believe it, and neither did we.
I miss you nodding off in the corner of the room, and waking up to tell us you were listening with your eyes closed. You forgot that we could hear the snores that were coming from you.
I miss you reminiscing about the past, about your favourite stories of us, my eating of the glass which my drink you gave me was in, Steve's cheating at Frustration because he didn't realise you knew the rules to Ludo and Chris's bacon sandwich addiction to name just a few.
I miss asking about your trips out and what you ate, the answer always being fish and chips.
I miss you being at the end of the phone when I ring just because.
I miss you nagging us, fussing us, telling us all off for telling you to stop. We only nagged because we loved you, wanted you to sit down. I know you only did the same because you loved us.
Thank you for the trips to Peter Pan's playground, and the pleasure we witnessed when we got off our ride. It didn't matter to you if we went on the ghost train eight times in a row as long as we were enjoying ourselves. I'm glad we did the ferris wheel with you each year, because we got to see you so happy as we looked out over the Southend Pier and sea.
Thank you for the bacon sandwiches and the memories that come with them. It is something that Chris, Steve and myself will never forget. They truly were world class, we told all our friends that our Nanny made the best.
Thank you for the weekly phone calls, and the run down on the week, the stories of bingo and the winnings of £2.50. I know that Club will miss you like we do, but at least someone else might win this week.
Thank you for the trips along the river, getting stuck on the boat, and telling me off for saying I was going to leave you there until the tide rose again. It was lovely that you giggled about it afterwards, having realised how silly you had been.
Thank you for playing along with our jokes and humour, our little nanny that was amazed each time one of us grew taller than you. I won't forget the look on your face at Dad's 50th when you realised that once inside the Hummer, it was the perfect size for you. The rest of us had to bottom shuffle, whereas you could walk up and down with no problem.
Thank you for the concern you had for us. I will continue to challenge myself and see the world, i know you liked hearing that I was doing something and pushing my boundaries.
Thank you for the belief you had in me, and the stubbornness you passed on to me. You constantly reminded me that I could do anything that I set my mind too and that you would tell everyone that if I started something I would finish it. In my own time.
Most of all, Thank you for the memories and stories, that we can talk and share.
Thank you for being our Nanny.
Monday, 30 May 2011
Change
Why does change keep happening?
Why can't time stay still?
Why do people come and go?
Why do people die?
Why do things have to change?
Whats wrong with staying the same?
Or is it that becaome time ticks we move, we change,
maybe its me changing too not being left behind.
Whatever it is, the clock doesn't stop,
Tick, tock, tick, tock,
and as each tick comes into play, change has reoccured.
Why can't time stay still?
Why do people come and go?
Why do people die?
Why do things have to change?
Whats wrong with staying the same?
Or is it that becaome time ticks we move, we change,
maybe its me changing too not being left behind.
Whatever it is, the clock doesn't stop,
Tick, tock, tick, tock,
and as each tick comes into play, change has reoccured.
Friday, 27 May 2011
"Out of this world"
On Friday 20Th May, I visited the British Library for the first time. It was awesome. The reason I went was that my best friend and I wished to see the new exhibition that was starting. Our visit was not a disappointment, the "Out of this world" exhibit was extremely well put together and really interesting. Well done to the organisers. There was something in it for everyone regardless of how informed they were on Science Fiction literature. My favourite part was the quotes that were spread out on the displays, capturing the qualities of Science Fiction that appear to a huge majority.
There are displays and information points from the earliest examples of science fiction literature, explanations of books you would never consider to fit into the genre, interviews with authors accessible through headphones, clips of music from theme tunes to the top twenty science fiction songs available from different points. There is also a sleeping robot, that is completely cute, waking up to tell you about androids and the history of them, and the challenge of the Turin test, trying to get a computer to show itself as one rather then a thinking entity. There are reports of one gentleman trying to ask it sexual questions hoping to prove it wrong. No one had managed when I went past.
I had two criticisms, both very minor, the first is the little shop to do with the exhibition had badges, books and postcards, but didn't have anything with the quotes that were printed around the room, which i liked. Even the book which accompanies the exhibition does not feature them although is a stunningly good book. My second is that it has come after I finished my degree, and three years since i did my unit on science fiction. It would have been incredibly useful to have gone before i completed that unit, and I may have got a better grade as the understanding that the exhibit gave me was great, and I am looking forward to delving deeper into this historical genre.
There are displays and information points from the earliest examples of science fiction literature, explanations of books you would never consider to fit into the genre, interviews with authors accessible through headphones, clips of music from theme tunes to the top twenty science fiction songs available from different points. There is also a sleeping robot, that is completely cute, waking up to tell you about androids and the history of them, and the challenge of the Turin test, trying to get a computer to show itself as one rather then a thinking entity. There are reports of one gentleman trying to ask it sexual questions hoping to prove it wrong. No one had managed when I went past.
I had two criticisms, both very minor, the first is the little shop to do with the exhibition had badges, books and postcards, but didn't have anything with the quotes that were printed around the room, which i liked. Even the book which accompanies the exhibition does not feature them although is a stunningly good book. My second is that it has come after I finished my degree, and three years since i did my unit on science fiction. It would have been incredibly useful to have gone before i completed that unit, and I may have got a better grade as the understanding that the exhibit gave me was great, and I am looking forward to delving deeper into this historical genre.
The importance of bookshops
Having just been reading an article here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2011/may/24/waterstone-s-vital-book-trade regarding the importance of Waterstones and the opinions that people are having seems to bring a balance in two options. There are those that believe that without people buying in book shops they are the ones at fault and others that believe that the company, in this particular case Waterstones needs to compete better with the online world such as amazon and offer prices at the same.
I can see both sides. Personally I tend to buy books both ways. Depending on the book and what it is for. If it is a particular book that i specifically want, I buy it on amazon, if I am after a book but unsure which one or what I might like I tend to buy it from Waterstones or other highstreet bookshops. Now both of these options are well used in my life. I am regularly in Waterstones, and regularly have parcels arriving. But am I to blame for the failure of high street book stores because i do some shopping online.
I recently went into three of my local libraries to find a book that I wanted to read as a guilty pleasure, an author I grew up with in my teens, but now as an adult should not want to read as i have a more mature mind. But i would like too. The library couldn't offer me the books that I wanted to read as a one off, so now I am left with two options, I could go into Waterstones a pick up the set of books for £6.99 each, which for 5 books is £34.95, a lot of money considering I only wish to read them as a guilty pleasure, not keep them for ever. Online this would be able to be achieved for half the price. Now in an ideal world I could get them from the library and spend my money on books that I really want to read that are more of the I want to keep for every variety.
I have a lot of books, side by side we are looking at around 17metres of books. Which for a 24 year old is quite impressive, and my collection continues to grow. I employ a technique of one Pre. 1940 followed by one more modern book, and I also read a lot of theory and criticism. There are always the need for guilty pleasure reading but these are perhaps the ones we want to be available at ease.
I guess what I am getting at is that the book shops do need to employ a way of competing a little bit with the online world. A local bookshop to me gets the numbers in by arranging events that are truly amazing, in the last year we have had Dawn French, Margaret Atwood, Jodi Picoult, Vince Cable all visiting. Each event was sold out, and because of that the bookshop made a large amount of money on the selling of the books and others by that author on the night. However, to go into the bookshop without these incentives is extremely expensive, and even though they do special things with their books such as signed copies, it is hard to justify being a book addict like me spending £10 more there then i can get elsewhere and have three or four more books for the collection.
I currently do not buy into e-books, eventually I fear I might have to, however i still find that they are not able to be as creative as a wander through any bookshop can be, I don't want a you might like this one, i want to just randomly pick a book off a shelf and read its blurb, a page in the middle to see the writing style and decide I am interested in the subject. Is this not the way that new authors are going to survive in this world? They have to have a bit of luck.
I can see both sides. Personally I tend to buy books both ways. Depending on the book and what it is for. If it is a particular book that i specifically want, I buy it on amazon, if I am after a book but unsure which one or what I might like I tend to buy it from Waterstones or other highstreet bookshops. Now both of these options are well used in my life. I am regularly in Waterstones, and regularly have parcels arriving. But am I to blame for the failure of high street book stores because i do some shopping online.
I recently went into three of my local libraries to find a book that I wanted to read as a guilty pleasure, an author I grew up with in my teens, but now as an adult should not want to read as i have a more mature mind. But i would like too. The library couldn't offer me the books that I wanted to read as a one off, so now I am left with two options, I could go into Waterstones a pick up the set of books for £6.99 each, which for 5 books is £34.95, a lot of money considering I only wish to read them as a guilty pleasure, not keep them for ever. Online this would be able to be achieved for half the price. Now in an ideal world I could get them from the library and spend my money on books that I really want to read that are more of the I want to keep for every variety.
I have a lot of books, side by side we are looking at around 17metres of books. Which for a 24 year old is quite impressive, and my collection continues to grow. I employ a technique of one Pre. 1940 followed by one more modern book, and I also read a lot of theory and criticism. There are always the need for guilty pleasure reading but these are perhaps the ones we want to be available at ease.
I guess what I am getting at is that the book shops do need to employ a way of competing a little bit with the online world. A local bookshop to me gets the numbers in by arranging events that are truly amazing, in the last year we have had Dawn French, Margaret Atwood, Jodi Picoult, Vince Cable all visiting. Each event was sold out, and because of that the bookshop made a large amount of money on the selling of the books and others by that author on the night. However, to go into the bookshop without these incentives is extremely expensive, and even though they do special things with their books such as signed copies, it is hard to justify being a book addict like me spending £10 more there then i can get elsewhere and have three or four more books for the collection.
I currently do not buy into e-books, eventually I fear I might have to, however i still find that they are not able to be as creative as a wander through any bookshop can be, I don't want a you might like this one, i want to just randomly pick a book off a shelf and read its blurb, a page in the middle to see the writing style and decide I am interested in the subject. Is this not the way that new authors are going to survive in this world? They have to have a bit of luck.
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
So far so bleak
Well something which i meant to write frequently has turned into something which as per usual has slipped below everything else. However, I am determined not to let this go. It is important, and it should do me good.
So the last eight months have consisted of....
Confused relationships... why exes should stay exes, and why being friends with them can cause more self harm then cutting them and others out altogether.
New challenges.... I finally managed to get a bit of confidence and throwing myself down a mountain, and not completely hating it. I must thank both the staff at Xscape in Milton Keynes, and Aaron and Rob in Pas de La Casa for assisting in this, i actually couldn't wait to go back this year, and although sadly i didn't manage to make it. I am seriously considering doing a season out there... bit of a way to go with my confidence first, but you never know.
New confidence, i recently did something that was completely out of character, completely not me, and something i would usually completely slate myself about, but i haven't and I did it. And although I am concerned what others will think about me should i reveal or they find out, even this is something I am only slightly musing about rather obsessing and for two nights, i got to actually enjoy myself rather then thinking of the 100 different escape routes, and the actual consequences of my actions. Consequences.
Parents... I know this is something we all suffer, and love and hate and all the emotions in between, but could someone please stop mine preventing progress, yes i am a loner, yes i like the quiet life, and no i have never been clubbing, but if i do decide to go out, accept what i tell you and don't quiz me further, or I stop doing it, just take it at face value! You would think that parents would discover that nagging even when they think they are taking an interest (nosying) does not assist make their children behave the way they want them too.
So... onwards and upwards....
New challenges:
So the last eight months have consisted of....
Confused relationships... why exes should stay exes, and why being friends with them can cause more self harm then cutting them and others out altogether.
New challenges.... I finally managed to get a bit of confidence and throwing myself down a mountain, and not completely hating it. I must thank both the staff at Xscape in Milton Keynes, and Aaron and Rob in Pas de La Casa for assisting in this, i actually couldn't wait to go back this year, and although sadly i didn't manage to make it. I am seriously considering doing a season out there... bit of a way to go with my confidence first, but you never know.
New confidence, i recently did something that was completely out of character, completely not me, and something i would usually completely slate myself about, but i haven't and I did it. And although I am concerned what others will think about me should i reveal or they find out, even this is something I am only slightly musing about rather obsessing and for two nights, i got to actually enjoy myself rather then thinking of the 100 different escape routes, and the actual consequences of my actions. Consequences.
Parents... I know this is something we all suffer, and love and hate and all the emotions in between, but could someone please stop mine preventing progress, yes i am a loner, yes i like the quiet life, and no i have never been clubbing, but if i do decide to go out, accept what i tell you and don't quiz me further, or I stop doing it, just take it at face value! You would think that parents would discover that nagging even when they think they are taking an interest (nosying) does not assist make their children behave the way they want them too.
So... onwards and upwards....
New challenges:
- Trip on my own somewhere... possibly Ireland
- New job - I have to progress rather then stagnating
- Keeping this blog regularly - once a fortnight is better then nothing
- Making new friends
- Weight loss
- Gym - Currently at 2 classes and 3 other sessions a week. Progress needs to be made
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