Moving out is...

Moving out has proved to be okay in some respects, but there are still so many things to do. So many things I should have done and haven't yet. So many boxes left to unpack. Right now I feel pretty low, its a bit like limbo. I went 'home' to see my mum, and it didn't feel right anymore. every time I've been back since I left, it has been completely okay. Today just felt wrong. They'd removed things from my room, stacked stuff. It wasn't right. It just felt wrong. I ended up crying on the driveway for quite a while. Coming back to my house, still doesn't feel like home yet. So I feel a bit out of place. I am going through the motions as best I can, but it just doesn't feel right.

I hope this improves. I should be loving it, I do think once i get my routine sorted that it will improve, its just getting the routine in place.

Hopefully it will be there before we go skiing. That's going to be interesting. Having spent 8 weeks living apart from them, being with them for 9 days could be...... hard. We will see.

The New Year...

It's the first of January 2013, and along with the majority of the population. I really feel that I am going to make an impact on my life this year. Last year I achieved so much. This year I am going to do better. Things i did in 2012, that i am so proud of myself for:

• Go Ape - Tree top assult course at Thetford. Alongside my best friend, we completed the 5 levels, of high balance exercises, I had to trust equipment and drop.
• Exercise regime - I did a lot of exercise, and although i am not where i want to be weight wise, i did get into a size 14 pair of trousers, wore the shortest dress I have ever worn - twice. Was able to shop in Oasis all because i love exercise now
• Silverstone - The hardest year I have ever done - and it was really hard this year, with the amount of rain. I could have given up, but i didn't. I asked for help when i needed it, but although it was tough i have done it again.
• Skiing- I can almost parallel ski, and although i am completely a wimp, I am better than i was, and i am definately ready for this next year.
• I bought a house - how can i not be proud of myself. Help might have been required, but i did it, i now am a home owner (with a huge mortgage and lots of bills) but i don't live at home with my parents any more.
• I won both women of the year and Miss Slinky at Slimming World
• I have started to accept myself as me.

Maybe the last one is the most important, there is still a long way to go, but if i can get there that will be amazing. This year is full of incredible memories, the olympics, Go ape, the paralympics, Silverstone, Wales rugby, strictly live at the o2.

This year, I would really like to work on my weight, and my emotional eating. I am going to go to the gym, where I feel happy and in the inside group. I will still go to Slimming World. I am going to try and get a better job, one that makes me feel happy inside, so I enjoy going to work. What that is, i don't know. I know I will get there when I want to though. I can do anything,